Saturday, March 1, 2014

Update Day +260

I haven't blogged in a while. I guess because I've been at a loss for words these past few months. Or maybe I just don't have the right definitive words to describe how I've been feeling. Ill try my best to explain. 
From being hit by pneumonia twice, (the first time being so incredibly scary) my breathing was very short and I hardly could walk down the block without feeling like I just ran a marathon! This was the most difficult thing because all I wanted to do was to just get in shape and be active! It took me months and months to finally get my breathing somewhat normal and under control. I still get pain in my lungs if I push myself hard, but I also feel that's why I've been getting better, because I have been pushing myself harder than before. It feels great to finally see some results! 
I still need lots of rest! I feel like some days I could sleep all day, and sometimes I do! Haha! But my body is still pretty weak from all it has been through! I think back at what my body has endured, and it's just crazy to think that I survived that! Amazing! 
It is so hard for me to talk about cancer now. It used to be easy for me to share my thoughts about it. But i guess now i suffer from a litlle PTSD. I get anxiety when I have to go back to the hospital where I had many traumatic things happen. And when I'm asked questions about my experience or start talking about cancer in other people, I get sick to my stomach and that "metallic", nasty taste overwhelms my mouth. I hope this will one day subdue. 
I thank my creator every day that he gave me the strength and endurance and the will to keep going! I know deep inside if it weren't for him I would be a lot worse, or possibly dead. I definitely wouldn't have been as happy as I am now! I thank my lucky stars for all my family and my fiancĂ© who has been there for me through thick and thin! My fiancĂ© and I have only been together 7 years, but we've gone through more trials than a normal couple will in their lifetime! I'm glad we got it out of the way now rather than later anyway! 
I do have some rather annoying side effects, other than the restricted breathing and fatigue, I now get headaches all the time! Everyday I wake up with a slight headache and sometimes they turn into horrible migraines! I lose my vision, puke, and sometimes my left arm goes numb. It's a horrible experience. I also have become intolerant of avocado. It triggers a migraine right away. I have always loved avocado, so this was awful to find out I can't eat it anymore. 
Other than the headaches and fatigue I feel pretty good! I'm totally off all medications, and now take a lot of different types of vitamins and supplements, which help a lot. I try to exercise as much as I can, and I'm even attempting a 5k in May! I also will be going rock climbing in Colorado soon too! Life is great! 
My hair is growing back with these intense curls! Totally opposite of what I used to have! It's out of control!
This June will be my 1year Re-birthday! That's one year since transplant! The time is flying by! I will also get a scan around that time and I know I still will be cancer FREE!