Friday, April 26, 2013

Opening My Heart

Wow! Is the only word I can describe how I feel at this very moment. Three weeks ago I was a scared child, that was consumed by intense anxiety and fearful of the unknown. Deep inside I was telling myself that this transplant coming up wasn't going to work. The negativity that was pouring from my tears was eventually going to drown me! So I let it out! The pain was too much. I needed help. I asked for help, strength, wisdom, and guidance. You know what the crazy part is? I actually received it! It was the most empowering moment of my life! Knowing that I can ask the universe, creator, God, whatever it might be that you believe in and actually get an answer back, was shocking and at times hard to comprehend. I never was a "believer". But something told me to let go of the fear I had and start to believe. Especially start to believe in MYSELF! Know that I can do anything I set my mind to. Know that I am not alone. Know that I hold my own fate. Not a dr. With a book of statistics!
I feel so free! Liberated! Clear of pain. I am CURED already!! My mind isn't consumed by negativity anymore. I have a clear conscience. I'm going to keep working on myself, knowing that all these lessons I've learned throughout this journey will never end. There will always be tests and lessons to be had and learned. But now I have guidance. Man, it feels wonderful! There are miracles in this world, but we have to have an open heart! Now I can go full steam away!! And finally beat this cancer!

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