Sunday, September 9, 2012

Receiving and Creating Love

My Fiance came up with an idea for a fundraiser two weeks ago, to benefit myself, and to help me out financially with the new treatment plan I am about to start. We held a car wash at our local Les Shwaub.
When he first presented the idea I was extremely nervous! I really wanted to do something along these lines but didn't know how to go about it. Usually I have ideas like this but are too afraid to go forward with them. I really don't like being center of attention. I get really anxious and can't keep composure and I just start to cry! Especially when I feel a lot of love, because I don't know how to handle it and have a tough time accepting love. I didn't know how the car wash was going to turn out, or who would show up, and who would help, but it was Amazing! It came together perfectly, and we were busy the whole entire time! The family, friends, and volunteers who helped were great! I don't know if I will ever be able to thank them enough! They all put so much effort and hard work into helping me!

Receiving love is a lot harder then giving love! It puts you on the spot! Most of the time I just want to push it away, it's a lot easier this way for me. When somebody is there for you when you need them it's a really great feeling, but for me I always feel horrible, like I am a burden. I have been trying to let this feeling go and just let myself receive all the love people want to give me. It is so difficult! I know though if one of my friends or family members needed me I would be there no matter what the same way they are here for me, and I wouldn't expect anything in return, maybe just a smile on their face! It feels great to Give, and I'm working on the Receiving part lol! At the car wash this weekend I felt that we created so much Love! Everybody seemed like they were having fun and they were happy. I saw a lot of hugs and smiles and that was priceless! Thank you to everyone who helped and those who donated! It means the World to me!! Thank you also for teaching me the lesson on Receiving. And one day I will help create more love for all of you!

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