Monday, October 8, 2012

ICE phase one

Last week I had my first ICE chemo treatment. Three days in the hospital was quite challenging.
The first day was OK, felt the normal fatigue of chemo. The second day I had infusion for 24 hours. It was extremely difficult. I was so tired! On top of feeling nauseous, having a splitting headache and body aches, they wouldn't let me sleep, waking me up every hour! I always feel somewhat emotional when I receive treatment, but this time it hit me hard. I didn't want to be in the hospital at all. I just wanted to be in the comfort of my house, my own bed.
Going home was hard also. Ricky, my fiance', already had prior obligations, the marathon he was training for, for a long time, so he wasn't able to be there when I got home. I asked my mom to be there for me because it's really hard to do anything when your done with treatment. She was amazing! And she helped me a lot!
I usually don't get too sick after treatment but this one seemed to hit me harder. I was sick for almost three days, not being able to keep anything down. On top of all this I got a horrible cold which didn't help my symptoms any.
With the other chemo I received, the day after I would need to get a shot called Neulasta to boost my white blood cell count up. It was one shot that pushed your body to the limit even more and made you feel like you got ran over! This time I am taking a shot called Neupogen which I give to myself for seven days after treatment. My doctor said he would have the shots ready for me when I got out of the hospital, but that never happened! I have been having a hell of a time getting this doctor to follow through on what he says. I was pretty mad that he didn't have these ready for me when he said he was going to! He had three days to do it, and the nurse said he forgot! Ugh, so annoying!! On Monday, feeling really sick, I called the office to see what the scoop was on these shots. I got the run-around from the nurses who finally told me hours later to just come in the office to take the first shot. It's so difficult to drag your butt out of bed and drive thirty minutes so the Dr.s to take a shot that takes three seconds, so I had my mom come pick me up and take me. Thank god for mommies! After I received the shot I almost immediately felt a little better. My immune system and white cell count was so low, that I definitely needed that shot!
The next day I picked up the rest of my shots to give to myself at home for the next six days. The first time I gave myself the shot I almost passed out LOL! I'm not even scared of needles and they usually don't bother me, but doing it myself and seeing the needle go into my stomach made me very unsettled! The affect of the shots didn't hit me until the third day. It leaves you with pounding headaches, which hasn't gone away yet, and lower back pulsating pain.
After about a week of recuperating after treatment, you start to feel better. Slowly but surely you become normal again. I think this is one of the most difficult things for me. People know that I had treatment, but they don't know the affects it has on my body, because when they see me I look normal, I look happy.
I try to write a lot of details to try to inform people that don't know what I am going through how truly difficult this is. Chemotherapy is no joke! It is literally the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life!
Having Cancer has changed my life so much! It has left me with slight neuropathy in my toes which is getting worse with this new treatment, crazy looking hair LOL, and lung damage just to name a few. Of course it has taught me very valuable life lessons, but it has also shattered dreams! But one thing it can't take away is how much I have learned how strong I truly am!

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